Anxiety is a common but unwelcome emotion. While it’s natural to feel anxious, many of us would prefer to avoid it if possible.
Natasha Reynolds, a psychotherapist at Bloom Psychology & Wellness in Toronto, compares anxiety to a smoke alarm. Just like a smoke alarm can warn you of real dangers as well as false alarms, anxiety alerts you to perceived threats that may not actually be harmful.
Reynolds explains that when our brain’s threat detection system goes off unnecessarily, it can be a sign that it’s time to seek help and find ways to manage stress. Several everyday habits can make anxiety worse, triggering that “alarm” more often than it should. Here are the most common habits:
1. Black-and-White Thinking
One common thought pattern that fuels anxiety is “black-and-white thinking,” also called all-or-nothing thinking. This type of thinking involves seeing situations as either entirely good or bad, without considering the nuances in between.
For instance, if you make a small mistake in an email, you might think it means you’re incompetent, even though it’s just a normal error. This kind of thinking makes us feel worse about ourselves and can make future interactions stressful, triggering more anxiety.
2. Avoidance
Many people try to avoid things that cause anxiety, but this can make the problem worse. According to psychologist Jennifer Anders, avoiding anxiety-inducing situations or places only increases stress over time.
For example, if you avoid checking your credit card balance because it makes you anxious, you may end up even more stressed when you finally face it, having let the anxiety build up for weeks.
Instead of avoiding anxiety-inducing situations, experts suggest gradually facing them. Psychologist Justine Grosso recommends small steps, like attending a short event instead of avoiding it completely, to help reduce anxiety in the long run.
3. Seeking Reassurance
Constantly seeking reassurance, whether by asking others for their opinions or Googling health symptoms, may seem helpful, but it can worsen anxiety. Anders notes that while reassurance offers short-term relief, it creates a cycle of needing more reassurance in the future.
The habit of constantly seeking reassurance prevents you from learning how to manage anxiety independently, which only reinforces the feeling in the long term.
4. Catastrophizing
Catastrophizing involves expecting the worst-case scenario to happen, even when there’s no reason to think it will. For example, you might worry that a minor mistake could lead to a major failure, like thinking you’ll be evicted just because you mailed a rent check late.
Reynolds explains that cognitive behavioral therapy teaches that anxiety often comes from overestimating a situation and underestimating your ability to handle it. To combat this, try challenging catastrophic thoughts by asking yourself, “What if it all works out?”
5. Negative Self-Talk
Another habit that fuels anxiety is negative self-talk. This involves harshly criticizing yourself and doubting your abilities. Anders explains that people often speak to themselves in ways they would never speak to others, which increases anxiety.
The first step in overcoming negative self-talk is to notice it. By becoming aware of your inner dialogue, you can begin to change it and replace it with kinder, more realistic thoughts.
6. People-Pleasing
People-pleasing is when you prioritize others’ needs over your own, often at the cost of your well-being. This can create anxiety because it leads to neglecting your own feelings and needs. According to Anders, this habit is especially common among women, who are often socialized to put others first.
Over time, people-pleasing can result in poor boundaries and a diminished sense of self-worth. It’s important to recognize the toll it takes on your mental health and start setting boundaries to protect your own well-being.
Ways to Combat Anxiety-Inducing Habits
To manage these habits, grounding techniques can be helpful. Psychologist Justine Grosso recommends physical activities like walking or exercise to help reduce anxiety. Mindfulness, which involves focusing on your five senses, can also help ground you in the present moment.
Reynolds suggests belly breathing, where you intentionally breathe in and out while focusing on your belly. This can send more oxygen to your brain and help calm your body.
It’s also important to name the behaviors that trigger anxiety. By recognizing when you’re catastrophizing or engaging in negative self-talk, you can shift your focus to the present moment and remind yourself that these thoughts are not reality.
Seeking professional help can also be beneficial. Sometimes, anxiety is a secondary emotion masking other feelings, such as anger or grief. Therapy can help you explore the underlying causes of your anxiety and develop strategies to manage it more effectively.
If you’re struggling with anxiety, reaching out to a therapist can be a valuable step in understanding your emotions and improving your mental health.
Read more:
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